This is on my heart as I am seeing abuse of “spiritual father/ mother”. I am seeing abuse of those who say “you are my father and mother”.
Yes, there is abuse too from so-called spiritual father and mother. There are some not all in this category, that all they want from you is your money and never to appear before them empty-handed (as if they’re God Himself!), even God knows you don’t have a penny at times to go with your name and He makes provision available for your today because He cares for you. But some from the latter group have no clue where you even put your head on the pillow or whether your house has been repossessed by the bank because of a failed mortgage payment. Please, these are issues I have dealt with and will continue to deal with.
Not that they have to know but please be careful not to confuse teachers with fathers. Even Apostle Paul said you may have many teachers or instructors but you have not many fathers. In my first book “Fulfilling His Dream”, I tried my best to expatiate on this point. Many of us at a point in life have made our teachers to be fathers and have been badly abused because of failed expectations.
But what I am addressing is not that your parent is “not good” but to please be careful who you approach to be one. Remember, they are not your biological parents who in the flesh allow you at times to get away with anything and everything; after all, you’re their special one.
Some biological parents have not given their lives to Jesus because they are of another faith. They are yet to be saved from their sins. Their names are NOT yet written in the Book of Life! Please, this is serious and don’t be sentimental about this even if they do attend church. You were born by them taking you to church doesn’t mean they did encounter the Risen Saviour! Religion is one of the evils that deceive many. Please pray that your natural parent will accept Jesus sincerely. Many are sincere but sincerely wrong! Especially those born into a denomination or who attend the church because they have problems. Yes in God’s mercy He heals and delivers but that doesn’t mean their heart is wholly for Jesus Christ.
Today my dominant issue is for those who now say “you are my spiritual father or mother” without a clue what that word means.
Spiritual means SPIRITUAL not Carnal. Your spiritual parents are those who sees with the eyes of the spirit of God and speak into your life words that propel you into your future.
They are not carnally minded. They are not materialistic even when they are “rich” because they are mindful of the purpose of wealth.
They have so much life of Christ to impart to you and they have authority not only to encourage you but to challenge you, correct and even rebuke you where necessary. Yes, that word sounds foreign in the 21st century. They are your spiritual father/mother. They hold you responsible because they are accountable for you.
Please do not call anyone your father or mother if all you need is their money or their influence to connect you to another man or woman of God. If all you need is to be in their circle of ministerial association without you participating in their own wellbeing also. It’s about the relationship. A godly parent should care for you as Christ cares but they are NOT your source. One of my spiritual sons said “I don’t need money because the grace of God on my life make provision available.” hmmmmm… that’s deep. It doesn’t mean am not a blessing to him but that formed a better way to relate. In case he forgets so I remind him (and I am sure he will read this and I pray he does).
If your motive is for self you are carnal and deceitful and you won’t last in any relationship. Don’t tell me fathers are to lay up for their children also because it’s not only about money it’s about provisions. Whatever that provision is! (2 Corinthians 12:14)
Also, I hear preachers use the word “my son or my daughter” and I wonder what they have imparted over this soul. Is it as a result of self-gratification or to show you’ve arrived? Sad still they call them spiritual daughter but defile them sexually.
Let God divinely connect you; after all, it is spiritual fatherhood. They are not perfect people. When you see their nakedness “but” don’t walk away to laugh and called others to laugh. It has costly consequences like Ham did. No one is perfect we are told to “be perfect” because we are not.
Please be careful of unforgiving, selfish, lone walker dads/mothers. Study him or her. How is his or her relationship with others? How do they relate to people? Are they gracious in their discipline? Do they live by godly principles or godly morals or they’re for all men and for all seasons.
When with them do you go home thinking how to ‘better your life’ or all you think about is “why am I in ministry it’s not worth it” or “why am I married my husband/wife it’s not worth it” Are they so political that they turn against each other in the same Body of Christ? What you see them do to others badly surely will be done to you for sure!
The first spiritual father or mother over you is your Pastor. The set man or woman sent to lead you. “And Elisha saw it and he cried out, “My father, my father, the chariot of Israel and its horsemen!” So he saw him no more. And he took hold of his own clothes and tore them into two pieces.” (2 Kings 2:12)
Am sorry your pastor’s wife or husband is spiritual mother or father but you must study them to be sure they are spiritual NOT all in this position are. There is no joint head only ONE head! The other is to faithfully support.
“To Timothy, a true son in the faith.” (1 Timothy 1:2a). As fathers and mothers are required to be faithful in their responsibilities so also it is required that sons or daughter should be a true son or daughter.
Can a teacher transit to parent? I believe so. The responsibility in transition is what defines it. Oh parents are teachers too but responsibility, power and authority define each. A teacher only teaches you and can walk away but a father or mother holds you accountable to what you’re taught and walk closely with you till you become what you were taught.
Your spiritual father or mother communicates with you one-to-one. He or she calls you or write to you. There’s a personal touch to the relationship. You’re not a statistic on their data to be used and dumped.
Many of you today are wounded because you exposed yourself to fatherhood who is an armour bearer and not a father. They’re ushers, not fathers. They’re protocol officers, not fathers. Sons not yet fathers in the spirit. They do not have the grace of fatherhood or motherhood.
It is a grace given (Deborah – Judges 5:7). Since it is spiritual they are never tired of this responsibility. They are like ‘spiritual Duracell batteries’ that refuses to run down in the relationship with their sons and daughters, and please you are not parents to everyone who approaches you!
You are teachers to many but spiritual father/mother to a few.
Take your life and purpose for living dangerously serious.
It is well with you.