The Five Love Languages

Since writing about love each month I thank God for his revelations and understandings. This year in my church, has been declared the year open doors and our Pastor has been preaching about the importance of being open to the opportunities that God has set before us. She has preached about having an open mind. Now when I write my articles I never claim to have all the answers, but I make sure that I draw from other vessels on the topic of love. God’s word is the foundation of love, but I try to read books and materials to get a deeper understanding. I remember being referred to the five love language online test by my sister, at first I was apprehensive, but after taking the test I learnt a bit more about myself concerning love. The ‘Five Love Languages’ book was written by Dr Gary Chapman, who is the senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. His own life experiences, together with over thirty years of pastoring and marriage counselling, led him to publish his first book in the Love Language series called, ‘The Five Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts’. On his website he has a section where you can discover your own love language and today I will be telling you about how the test went, my own love language and reflections about the experience.

In his book Dr Gary Chapman speaks on five languages which are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. On beginning the test, you are asked if the test is for yourself or a child (which I thought was very interesting), I clicked the option for myself. It also asks are you in a relationship or single, to which I answered I am single. The test comprises of 30 questions of how you would react if love is expressed to you in a certain way. I was very excited to see what my final score would be. According to the test the highest score indicates your primary love language but it is not unusual to have two high scores, this may mean you that these two love languages are important to you however one language usually does have a slight edge for most people.

I had high scores in quality time (12) and words of affirmation (8), receiving gifts was my lowest score (3). The test says it’s important to remember that although you may have scored low in a particular language, it should not be dismissed as insignificant.

For me it was interesting to see my two highest scores in quality time and words of affirmation and I would definitely agree with the test on this assessment. During my years at university I realised that I truly treasured the time I spent with friends and family, for me that was very important. Even just chilling with friends for fifteen minutes between breaks in lectures or meeting up with my cousins after a long while and catching up over a whole day is very special to me.

I’m a big believer in the effects that words have on people. The bible says in Proverbs 18:21 that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit.” My pastor says that your words can either build people up or tear them down. Hearing the words, “I love you” and the reasons behind this are important in my life.

The Five Love Languages website and materials have been an eye opening for me. I would encourage those of you who are reading this that you shouldn’t be a closed book, please study to show yourself approved as the bible says and my prayer is that you will grow more and more in God’s Love, Amen!

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